Getting Unstuck


“Be not afraid of moving slowly but only of standing still.”

I practice a loving kindness meditation as often as I can. Rather than focusing on my breath I focus my attention on the following mantras:

May I be free from danger

May I be happy

May I be healthy

May I live with ease.

The first mantra, “May I be free of danger,” is interesting. As I meditate I wonder what are the dangers I most wish to be free of?

There are all sorts of dangers. There are extraordinary dangers. Accidents, terrorist attacks, natural disasters, being robbed, assaulted or having our property or identity stolen.

There are weather related dangers you could slip on the ice and break your ankle like I did or you might be struck by lightening or be in the way of a storm like Hurricane Sandy.

There are self inflicted dangers. You could be addicted to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, food, unhealthy relationships, shopping or collecting stuff.

I want to be free from all those dangers but another danger I want to be free of is the danger of standing still. Of being stuck. Of not making progress from year to year. Of constantly making the same mistakes. Of finding myself within the confines of limiting beliefs, negative thoughts, blaming and inertia.

It’s a common problem for folks with ADHD to be stuck.

But how do you get unstuck? The first step is to notice that you’re stuck and decide to do something about it. Take time to think about what you want to change. Share your intention with a someone else. Set reminders. Write it down. Ask for help. Seek support.

Start small and do what you can do and then do a little more until you build momentum.

A few weeks ago my physical therapist showed me an exercise.  It’s putting one foot directly in front of the other and taking a step forward. It looks like a sobriety test or someone walking a tight rope. At first I didn’t have the balance to take even one step and I was afraid of falling. The physical therapist told me to just stand there in that pose and once I had my balance to try moving forward. That was the hardest part, being stuck, standing there facing the direction I wanted to go in and not having the balance or courage to move forward. Eventually I took that first painful step and then another. It’s getting easier.

Kathy Sussell is an ADHD coach in Brooklyn, NY. She helps teens, college students and adults with ADHD with time management, planning and prioritizing, getting started with and finishing tasks, organizing paper and objects and improving social skills. She is the organizer of the ADHD Women’s Meetup Group that meets every month in downtown Brooklyn. For more information visit her website: or email Kathy at

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